Thursday 10 May 2012

Doubting your own self-worth?


Those of you who follow me on twitter (@ymummyreally) and on facebook may have noticed that I've been feeling a little down in the dumps since Wednesday night, when the cold/virus/joint aching/sore throat/high temperature thing that my children both enjoyed over the bank holiday weekend was lovingly passed on to me.

I fell to sleep at 7.30pm on the sofa on Wednesday night.  That's right!  7.30!  Boy, am I a wuss!  And yes I expect lots of sympathetic comments and virtual biscuits sent over.  (pretty please - bottom lip comes out)

The advantage of feeling rubbish for the last 24 hours has been plenty of time to think.  Oh no! Think? That's not good is it?  My parents always tell me I over-think everything.  Over analyse it all.  Feel like I need to have mapped out all the possibilities, internally debated all the arguments, considered all the outcomes, before doing ANYTHING.

Tea always makes things better
They are right.  I've been thinking about my next blog post and I've been stuck.  This is partly because I found out today that I didn't make the finalist list in The Mad Blog Awards 2012.  As a result I went straight into 'over-analyse' mode.  I sat and spent far too much time, in an already weakened state, reading the 'finalists' blogs.  The idea being that I should be able to pick up some tips to help improve this humble blog and therefore provide you lovely readers with some really great stuff.

I'm sure you can see where this is going can't you?  On a normal, healthy day that plan would be fine.  I'd have a read, enjoy the fantastic blogs that they are (they really are, click on the Mad Blog link above and check them out - but please do come back... whimpers) and use the lessons to build the joy here.  What actually happened was that I got over-emotional, over-awed at these other writers, many of whom have been doing this for years, and felt completely not worthy.  There were even tears.

It was stupid, stupid, stupid.

And so I sat down to write.  Though this post doesn't particularly stick to the main theme of this blog (tips to help us be yummy, even when a mummy) it is to remind me that we are ALL yummy in our own ways.  We have our own skills, our own talents, and, maybe more importantly, our own joys.

I've been writing this blog for 3 years now (has it really been that long) and this will be my 165th published post.  I didn't write it to make money (though if offered that would obviously be nice).  I started it because I've always wanted to be a writer.  I wanted to write.  I wanted to hopefully create something that someone somewhere would find useful or mildly amusing, and I will keep doing that regardless of potential awards, because it is here, with you, that I find my moments of joy.

So thank you for stopping by.  Please stay for biscuits.  Comments and feedback are definitely welcome (I always reply). Above all, stay yummy - it's not just a looks thing; it's a state of mind.*

*good job really - failing at the looks thing!

***

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outofthemouthsofbabes 

25 comments:

  1. I know exactly how you feel, and have been doubting myself too of late (although in relation to my work, rather than in relation to my blog) but it has had the same effect.

    For what it's worth I like your blog and regularly read it, don't over-think why you didn't make the Mad Blog Awards, most likely it was just because hundreds of blogs are out there to choose form and only a finite number of blogs could be chosen, that doesn't mean your writing isn't any good or you're a failure.

    Chin up. Keep writing. Pass the biscuits (unless they're ginger snaps, yuk) and have another cuppa. x

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, *dutifully passes biscuits*. I really appreciate you taking the time to say that. I shall do what I am told & drink tea and try not to over analyse anymore.

      Another digestive? Or are you a hobnobs lady?

      Delete
  2. We have so much in common, although I've only been blogging nine months and have topped 220 posts! I've always wanted to write and this is my little way of doing it. I have a few readers, more would be good, but those that read it tell me they enjoy it - it makes them laugh and it makes them cry. I know my blog isn't brilliant, but I also know that it's better than some and I'm going to keep going. And so should you! Hope you feel better soon x

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    1. Goodness that's so modest as yours is definitely better than many I've seen! I am taking the nightnurse tonight & vowing not to do anymore dwelling. Particularly when poorly!

      Jammy dodger? Or Nice?

      Delete
  3. I don't participate in any awards because they all seem to be popularity contests and the thought of having to go to some kind of ceremony terrifies me, but I do understand why you feel a bit disappointed.The secret of happy blogging is to not worry about the MADS or any other rating or award. You've got to blog for the bloggings sake and just try and view anything that comes with it as an extra.
    Enjoy writing every post, and conversing with every commentator you have. Don't have any preconceptions or any expectations. It's your blog just the way it is, be proud of it!

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    1. Thanks Jacq. Strangely this post felt like it was more ME than some of them have recently. Maybe I am also over analysing that too!

      Appreciate you stopping by.

      So, what will it be? Custard cream?

      Delete
  4. I think your blog is fab! I always get told I'm over-thinking things but sometimes I think it's just that different people process things different ways. Maybe over-thinkers become writers as a way to process the excess of thoughts in their heads? Anyway, you are great so hang in there - and pass the bourbons!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you luv. Love yours too. It's a good theory you suggest. I'll enjoy thinking it through! ;-)

      I will indeed pass the bourbons.

      Thank you

      Delete
  5. I remember blogging for a long time before I joined groups like BritMums and then it took off in terms of gathering followers etc. That was at the end of 2009 and it's only now, 2012, that I'm on any sort of radar which has meant that I was lucky to get nominated for the awards. Though,, to be honest, I'm sure I am lucky because my blog is in the travel category and not many parent blogs are in that group.
    I think what I'm trying to say, in my rambling fashion, is that you mustn't give up as you write very well and, inch by inch, you will become noticed...if that's what you want. But there are many fabulous blogs out there which aren't in the finals. I think you're in the cool group with them xx

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    1. Thank you Trish. I know I am being silly really. But if anyone was giving out awards for "beating oneself up" I'd definitely be in the running!

      Passing a biscuit allsortment over. Enjoy!

      Delete
  6. I blame the weather.

    And I love your blog. (There are clearly philistines on the voting panel).

    Now, biscuits you say? Don't suppose you have any of those yummy viennese ones with chocolate filling? Because they really are my fave ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whatever you like! Are they a bit like Bahlsons? Or am I getting my biscuits mixed up?

      Thank you. Love yours too, but watch from a distance as could never make those pretty things! I had to repick 5 times when I tried to hem some curtains! :-/

      Delete
  7. I hope you feel better soon. Feeling ill and bad weather are always enough to make you feel down and depressed. I can understand as well feeling feeling depressed and worthless because you didn't get chosen. I've been following your blog and I have been enjoying it, a lot of competitions are popularity contests and not always the best or most deserving wins as the one with the better begging or network of friends. I think it would mean more had a panel of judges chosen the winners.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Rachel. To be fair I don't even know what they use to measure how good a blog is, or not. And goodness knows why it bothered me.

      It is lovely that so many of you have come to comment & reassure me.

      Now. Back to the important stuff. Jammy dodger?

      Delete
  8. Hope you are feeling better and happier today. Look at all the people that have bothered to write to tell you that they not only read but like your blog. I know its easy to get caught up in these things but like others have said a lot of competitions are popularity contests and its not what you know but who you know. You made my night on Saturday, by reading and commenting on my blog! So carry on with doing what you are doing and remember good things come to those who wait. And in a few years time when I am upset cause I haven't got through to a blogging final remind me of my own advice!

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    1. It is lovely sound advice and I shall indeed remind you! ;-)

      You are right. It is amazing that folk are coming and offering supportive comments. Still feeling teary, but now it's because I am a little overwhelmed!

      Now, biscuit or 2?

      Delete
  9. Me again! I've just popped up to say how much I appreciate Mums Gone To's words of wisdom, which have inspired me - and I'm sure they will have inspired you. I've only been linked in with BritMums for about six weeks and I felt such a div that I didn't know it existed. I'd been blogging away in my little bubble, with friends reading and I dreamed it would grow, but didn't know how. So I'm pleased to hear that not everyone gets 'in' with the right people from the word go!
    Oh, and thanks YMR for saying I'm being modest, really appreciate that too.

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  10. Hello Lovely!! I just wanted to say that I'm loving your blog and this post is so honest and touched such a chord with me- I wrote on a similar theme last week myself! You've a lovely style of writing, it really does make me feel that we're sitting over a packet of biccies. I over think a lot myself- I was always told not to be so sensitive- but it's just the way we are-& it can make for some cracker blogging! I'm a complete newbie to all this but I've found that joining Net Mums and LOB began to raise my profile a little.
    The best advice I can give you though is to keep 'er lit! I love your style and your turn of phrase and your honesty. It makes me want to come back and so I'm off to sign up as a follower. I look forward to reading more. Emma xx ps I love chocolate too and my muffin top is outta control !
    Pps love to see a pic at the top of the blog- maybe of your lovely family!?

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    1. Hi Emma,
      Thank you for stopping by and for the lovely positive comments. I've been trying to come up with a picture or banner for the top of the blog but am doing the usual over thinking and can't decide what to put up there!! I'll stop procrastinating as soon as I can! Thanks for the suggestion.

      Delete
  11. Wow, you do brilliantly to even be nominated! Well done :) I can imagine getting bogged down bythe competition and over-analyzing is very easy in this game. I am a newbie so yet to discover this. Keep in blogging, now I've found you I would like to hear more!

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    1. Thanks Suzanne,
      Welcome!
      You are right. Bogged down is definitely what I got! I shall check out your blog and say hi!

      Delete
  12. Just wanted to add my agreement that your blog is great, and I love to read it. I've been thinking similar things this week about my blog and blog awards. It would be nice to get one one day, but as far as I can see they are generally like popularity contests (as someone said above) and as I don't have a big twitter or facebook following, I don't have loads of followers. But a friend said to me the other day that she really likes reading it, and to hear that from her was worth more than any blog award. It reminded me why I started it - similar to you, it's because I like to write, and (apart from my PhD thesis and a few academic papers) I'd like to think that other people can get something out of it. My friend said it was useful info that she read that particular day, and that's why I was so pleased. I'd also like to think it's mildly funny and cheers people up, maybe. Anyway, I hope by sharing all this it shows that you're not alone, and you definitely have a very worthy blog!

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    1. Hi Ruth,

      It's good to step back once in a while and remember why we do it. The strange part of blogging is that, whilst you can see some of the interactions, like here, now, when readers comment; or on Twitter or Facebook; but you start to think those visible interactions are the only interactions. But of course there are people popping over and reading your blog and not necessarily commenting, but finding it useful, or funny, or insightful etc..

      You are right to be pleased when you are able to reach a reader like that.

      And finally - Thank you so very much!

      Delete
  13. I just feel the need to add another thank you for the lovely comments above.

    I didn't write this post thinking it would get this kind of reaction at all. I just wrote to help me get over my frustration and to remind myself why I am here, on this blog, eating far too many biscuits.

    It's overwhelming that so many of you have taken the time to reassure me.

    Many many thanks (dramatically reaches for tissues and dabs eyes)

    Now; did everyone get a biscuit? Did everyone get more than one? No? Well that's not good enough is it. Note to self: buy more biscuits. And cake. And wine..... (wink)

    ReplyDelete

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